Well I had yet (almost) another horror story at the airport, this time it was in Philadelphia.
High anxiety started setting in, as I arrived I knew I had about a 3 hour wait until my flight - add on top of that, I was on standby - and standby and myself do not mix. I lose my head sometimes - because the urge to get home is SOOOO very strong by the time I get to the airport - especially if I am traveling on business. As it is, I feel like I do not belong in the corporate world but yet I find myself deeper and deeper into it! I'm finding sometimes the whole thing conflicts with what is in my heart. But yet I continue on! But everyday I feel I'm getting closer to a wonderful change - so in other words I am doing this with purpose - but yet the actual point of action, and how I am going to make the change hasn't quite yet revealed itself -
-BUT, I digress-this is why I experience anxiety when traveling on business...
So anyway, after about 2 hours landside, anticipating the long line through security and then getting to the gate and waiting and wondering if I'll make it onto the flight - I finally make my move - and decide to get in there - I had already smoked enough cigarettes to feed 10 addicts -
I had enough and decided I had gotten my patience in check, to some extent. Thoughts of 'here we go again - what the fuck is this all for - why do I continue with this job - is it really worth it - God I hate traveling - God I hate US Airways - blah blah blah - all of these thoughts were in my head but somewhat muted, if that makes any sense. They were there, but I still had to go through the motions and hope and pray my name would be called and a miracle would happen that I actually would get a confirmed seat on this oversold flight!
Ok - I needed something to eat - and normally I wouldn't get anything that would sprout any gassiness - but I decided what the hell - if I'm going to be stuck here - then I am going to eat all the gassy food in the world! So first I bought a nice hot cup of coffee, squashing the urge to drink my face off - just in case - I needed to have my wits about me ! Then I proceeded to the Philly Cheese Steak stand - yum! Although how good could airport philly be - well I was soon to find out - and it was yummy. I ordered the works - EXTRA gassy!
I made my way to the gate area and what did I find? DELAYS! by about an hour. Yippee!
Now at this point my head is racing with a back up plan - by the time this flight took off I technically could've been home if I had rented a car and drove! I opted not to do this 2 hours ago because I had spent a stressful day driving on the Penna Pike! Oh joy of all joys - talk about being claustrophobic! Jersey barriers on both sides, with big rigs zooming down the highway like it was nothing - ! Oh man! It was ridiculous!
So anyway - I started kicking myself, just knowing I was going to regret that decision not to drive the long drive home. But I said to myself - you set the path already - let's see what happens.
Ok - jumping ahead, I demolished the Philly cheesy yummy sub - and was exhausted - dozed off a bit - sent a few text messages - and really did everything possible to avoid having a conversation with anyone - I was not feeling very sociable - and didn't feel like listening to anyone else's sob story - and also I wanted to save anyone who engaged me conversation from my sob story - bottom line is: Airports have the ability to turn nice people into nasty nasty human beings - just something in the air I suppose. So I sat in isolation and just minded my own business - all the while a seat remained open next me - and I couldn't believe how lucky I was that no one had sat down next me! Yeah for me!
Then suddenly, I noticed a woman dressed in pale blue, with a pale blue headdress. She was eyeing the seat - and I said to myself 'here we go'. Sure enough she came over and asked politely if the seat was occupied and I replied politely back - no-
She sat and began eating her nuts and berries and minded her own business.
One thing I had noticed about her was her sunny disposition - she had such a smiling face.
It was nice - that was first positive sign for me. But again I didn't want to talk to anyone so I left it at that and minded my own business.
Then she asked me to save her seat - and I obliged - no problem - the area was filling up - about an hour to go for my let down and hell would break lose for me - yup no worries - my kindness still intact.
She came back - and magically managed to strike up a conversation with me - by asking where I was going. I asked the same of her - and out came her story - but the odd thing is, I didn't mind - she told her story in a way that was so not a complaint! It was just a story, and she was ok with it. And she too was on standby for a canadian flight - she had been at the airport all day long because her original flight had been canceled due to a technical reason. But yet she remained calm.
Throughout our conversation I learned she was from South America, was muslim (ie the headdress) here birthday was on April 20 (today) she was going to be 69, she was traveling to Canada to see her mom who was on her death bed. Now her attitude towards this factor was so wonderful. Her mom has dementia -and it had progressed so much that she could no longer ingest food. They had made a decision to not use artificial means as her body was dying already - and she herself was not herself - she is 92 - and lived a full life, why prolong her pain.
The woman, whose name turned out to be Azmat - was very much a wise person - and said she was so happy for her mom - her suffering would be over, and that it was a sad moment on one hand as it is hard to say goodbye - however - she lived a full and happy life. Now it was time for her to be with god.
Throughout the conversation the main theme was, god will take care of you, as long has you believe. Combat negative thoughts - that is the devils influence, god will take care of you - if you believe it.
Another common theme throughout the conversation was the fact that life is too short. Focus on the positive aspects in your life - make positive changes where needed. Life has a way of working itself out, if you do the work that is necessary - and I don't mean labor - I mean mentally and personally.
Everything this woman said to me made so much sense - and really was so relevant to my life, and ultimately I felt like we were old friends catching up with one another. There was such a wonderful peaceful air about her.
Now came the time to board, I still hadn't found out if I had made it onto the flight. But for some reason, it didn't stress me out anymore - and I can honestly say it was because of this wonderful woman and her wise words.
In the end, the gate agent did end up calling my name and hand delivered my boarding pass and said to me, she got me on due to 3 others that were irate and stormed off and therefore missed there opportunity to board the flight! I was so very much thankful! I was so very happy and I hugged her! I wanted to get home so very badly!
So it came time for me to board - and I had to say goodbye - but before I did I gave Azmat my contact details. I felt so compelled to help her - I have no idea how - but who knows, life has a weird way of working things out - we may cross paths again - maybe we won't -
We parted but not like strangers - we had formed a bond - and hugged as if we were old friends.
She said 'god bless you' and I said the same to her, although I believe she was already blessed.
In the end - the hour I spent with her was so precious, as she helped me to remember the things and feelings that are in my heart that I let get clouded by negative thoughts - she brought me back to me. I feel god does work in mysterious ways - and has always been there for me in the toughest times, although this may not have been the toughest. But I believe Azmat was a messenger - or that god was absolutely working through her, and I brought attention to this with her - I told her thanks to her my mood had lightened - and she said it wasn't her - and then we looked at each other, and I told her god was working through her, she gave me a beaming, knowing smile.
I was touched by her spirit - and I want to hold onto that moment forever.
High anxiety started setting in, as I arrived I knew I had about a 3 hour wait until my flight - add on top of that, I was on standby - and standby and myself do not mix. I lose my head sometimes - because the urge to get home is SOOOO very strong by the time I get to the airport - especially if I am traveling on business. As it is, I feel like I do not belong in the corporate world but yet I find myself deeper and deeper into it! I'm finding sometimes the whole thing conflicts with what is in my heart. But yet I continue on! But everyday I feel I'm getting closer to a wonderful change - so in other words I am doing this with purpose - but yet the actual point of action, and how I am going to make the change hasn't quite yet revealed itself -
-BUT, I digress-this is why I experience anxiety when traveling on business...
So anyway, after about 2 hours landside, anticipating the long line through security and then getting to the gate and waiting and wondering if I'll make it onto the flight - I finally make my move - and decide to get in there - I had already smoked enough cigarettes to feed 10 addicts -
I had enough and decided I had gotten my patience in check, to some extent. Thoughts of 'here we go again - what the fuck is this all for - why do I continue with this job - is it really worth it - God I hate traveling - God I hate US Airways - blah blah blah - all of these thoughts were in my head but somewhat muted, if that makes any sense. They were there, but I still had to go through the motions and hope and pray my name would be called and a miracle would happen that I actually would get a confirmed seat on this oversold flight!
Ok - I needed something to eat - and normally I wouldn't get anything that would sprout any gassiness - but I decided what the hell - if I'm going to be stuck here - then I am going to eat all the gassy food in the world! So first I bought a nice hot cup of coffee, squashing the urge to drink my face off - just in case - I needed to have my wits about me ! Then I proceeded to the Philly Cheese Steak stand - yum! Although how good could airport philly be - well I was soon to find out - and it was yummy. I ordered the works - EXTRA gassy!
I made my way to the gate area and what did I find? DELAYS! by about an hour. Yippee!
Now at this point my head is racing with a back up plan - by the time this flight took off I technically could've been home if I had rented a car and drove! I opted not to do this 2 hours ago because I had spent a stressful day driving on the Penna Pike! Oh joy of all joys - talk about being claustrophobic! Jersey barriers on both sides, with big rigs zooming down the highway like it was nothing - ! Oh man! It was ridiculous!
So anyway - I started kicking myself, just knowing I was going to regret that decision not to drive the long drive home. But I said to myself - you set the path already - let's see what happens.
Ok - jumping ahead, I demolished the Philly cheesy yummy sub - and was exhausted - dozed off a bit - sent a few text messages - and really did everything possible to avoid having a conversation with anyone - I was not feeling very sociable - and didn't feel like listening to anyone else's sob story - and also I wanted to save anyone who engaged me conversation from my sob story - bottom line is: Airports have the ability to turn nice people into nasty nasty human beings - just something in the air I suppose. So I sat in isolation and just minded my own business - all the while a seat remained open next me - and I couldn't believe how lucky I was that no one had sat down next me! Yeah for me!
Then suddenly, I noticed a woman dressed in pale blue, with a pale blue headdress. She was eyeing the seat - and I said to myself 'here we go'. Sure enough she came over and asked politely if the seat was occupied and I replied politely back - no-
She sat and began eating her nuts and berries and minded her own business.
One thing I had noticed about her was her sunny disposition - she had such a smiling face.
It was nice - that was first positive sign for me. But again I didn't want to talk to anyone so I left it at that and minded my own business.
Then she asked me to save her seat - and I obliged - no problem - the area was filling up - about an hour to go for my let down and hell would break lose for me - yup no worries - my kindness still intact.
She came back - and magically managed to strike up a conversation with me - by asking where I was going. I asked the same of her - and out came her story - but the odd thing is, I didn't mind - she told her story in a way that was so not a complaint! It was just a story, and she was ok with it. And she too was on standby for a canadian flight - she had been at the airport all day long because her original flight had been canceled due to a technical reason. But yet she remained calm.
Throughout our conversation I learned she was from South America, was muslim (ie the headdress) here birthday was on April 20 (today) she was going to be 69, she was traveling to Canada to see her mom who was on her death bed. Now her attitude towards this factor was so wonderful. Her mom has dementia -and it had progressed so much that she could no longer ingest food. They had made a decision to not use artificial means as her body was dying already - and she herself was not herself - she is 92 - and lived a full life, why prolong her pain.
The woman, whose name turned out to be Azmat - was very much a wise person - and said she was so happy for her mom - her suffering would be over, and that it was a sad moment on one hand as it is hard to say goodbye - however - she lived a full and happy life. Now it was time for her to be with god.
Throughout the conversation the main theme was, god will take care of you, as long has you believe. Combat negative thoughts - that is the devils influence, god will take care of you - if you believe it.
Another common theme throughout the conversation was the fact that life is too short. Focus on the positive aspects in your life - make positive changes where needed. Life has a way of working itself out, if you do the work that is necessary - and I don't mean labor - I mean mentally and personally.
Everything this woman said to me made so much sense - and really was so relevant to my life, and ultimately I felt like we were old friends catching up with one another. There was such a wonderful peaceful air about her.
Now came the time to board, I still hadn't found out if I had made it onto the flight. But for some reason, it didn't stress me out anymore - and I can honestly say it was because of this wonderful woman and her wise words.
In the end, the gate agent did end up calling my name and hand delivered my boarding pass and said to me, she got me on due to 3 others that were irate and stormed off and therefore missed there opportunity to board the flight! I was so very much thankful! I was so very happy and I hugged her! I wanted to get home so very badly!
So it came time for me to board - and I had to say goodbye - but before I did I gave Azmat my contact details. I felt so compelled to help her - I have no idea how - but who knows, life has a weird way of working things out - we may cross paths again - maybe we won't -
We parted but not like strangers - we had formed a bond - and hugged as if we were old friends.
She said 'god bless you' and I said the same to her, although I believe she was already blessed.
In the end - the hour I spent with her was so precious, as she helped me to remember the things and feelings that are in my heart that I let get clouded by negative thoughts - she brought me back to me. I feel god does work in mysterious ways - and has always been there for me in the toughest times, although this may not have been the toughest. But I believe Azmat was a messenger - or that god was absolutely working through her, and I brought attention to this with her - I told her thanks to her my mood had lightened - and she said it wasn't her - and then we looked at each other, and I told her god was working through her, she gave me a beaming, knowing smile.
I was touched by her spirit - and I want to hold onto that moment forever.
********UPDATE********
May 19, 2008
I continue to reflect on this experience and this woman, Azmat. I am haunted by her face and her wisdom - and I cannot get out of my head the idea that Azmat was an angel among the crowd, and her words and spirit have been imprinted on me. An eerie - but amazing thing happened today, I was thinking about Azmat today. I was thinking how if everyone could be as wise as she - what a world this would be. But it is not her wisdom only, it is her face, and it is so uncanny, but the day I met her, the first person I thought of and compared her to was Mother Theresa. She looked like her, and in the end, her spirit was what I would imagine Mother Theresa's spirit to be like. So today, I did a quick google image search to find a clear picture of Mother Theresa. I am utterly amazed and thankful and everything good, because the face that looks back at me in this picture is exactly the same woman I met in Philadelphia, Azmat.
I don't know why it is so important for me to have people believe me - and at first, I was frustrated - as with any retelling of what seems to be an outlandish story - the look on the face staring back you is one of 'yeah, ok - someone needs to get back to reality...' and that's ok with me.
After thinking about it, I guess it doesn't really matter if anyone believes me, because this is something everyone needs to experience first hand, and they will when they least expect it, and when they need it the most.
What is important to me is that I never forget this moment at the Philadelphia airport.
There is so much for me to learn from my interaction with Azmat the angel.
I am absolutely grateful for her and that day.
No comments:
Post a Comment